open letter to minivan driver

To the driver of the TEAL Ford Windstar with a Harley Davidson/tattoo roses sticker on the rear window,

You’re still not going close to the speed limit and I’m forced to ponder the incongruence. The coolness points of an alleged* Harley are severely outweighed by the UNcoolness points of a Ford Windstar, much less a TEAL one. Now, if you drove a black or charcoal Town & Country (or whichever) with fold-entirely-flat “stow’n'go” seating plus side doors and rear hatch that open with the touch of a remote, I could cut you some slack, but still…(because they tempt me too – the convenience and utility – remote-controlled doors for christ’s sake!)

*alleged, because seriously folks – are you telling me that a “badass” with a Harley not only drives a TEAL Ford Windstar but also puts a Harley sticker encircled with tattoo roses in the rear window? Come on.

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