welcome to Twilight Zone, TX

Monday was surreal, in so many more ways than one. First off, a bunch of us drove to deep Central Texas for Dave’s funeral(?!?!?). That, in and of itself, was hard enough. And the service was *very* religious, whereas Dave … not so much. We discovered that Dave can actually cause huge gusts of wind and bursts of 18-wheeler traffic timed just right to drown out things we don’t think he’d care for. It was also 115 degrees out, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. After the funeral, a few of us decided to go have a margarita to toast to Dave.

Here’s where the weirdness begins. We finally find a Mexican food restaurant, and the place is empty. When we order a couple of pitchers of margaritas, we are told we have to apply for MEMBERSHIP to the unicard club to be able to buy alcohol. We’re all very wary. ‘Is it a trick?’ Finally the waitress gives in to only one person filling out the card, and our “homemade” margaritas are on the way.

They’re lime green; almost fluorescent chartreuse, really. I’m pretty sure they’re the stuff you can buy in a bucket at HEB and pre-freeze. And mine is terrible. I think a cube of salt fell in or something. I try to finish it off, but I just can’t. So I ask about their beer selection:

Me: What beers do you have?
Waitress: “We have Coors, Coors Light. Bud, Bud Light, Bud Select. TK.”
(She may have said another one, but I wasn’t sure. I was too busy trying to figure out what TK was. Finally, I realized she didn’t say “TK”, she said “Tee-kate”, and that’s when it hit me. It’s Tecate. As in “tuh-kah-tay”.)
Me: (Almost choking to death) “I’ll have that last one.”
Waitress: “Tee-kate?”
Me: (Turning red, trying to regulate my breathing) “Yes.”

So that about says it all. A day chock-full of mandatory drinking clubs, radioactive margaritas, Tee-kate, and supernatural winds. I think Dave would’ve liked that.

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