stuff that bugs me (+ stuff that doesn't)
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fully articulated chimpanzee bust

Posted by Ashley on November 28, 2005

While we were on the flight to California, we were reading the SkyMall catalog, and we came across something I had to blog. But we were in the air, so I wrote it in my analog blog. It was a fully articulated chimpanzee bust — a “fully animated, life-size bust” of a chimp. And it was $150!!! (Second for only $120!)

First off, WTF? And then, W.T.F.?!?! And THEN, who would want this in their house??? Here is some of the (you guessed it: Sharper Image) product description in SkyMall :

“just like the real wild animal!”
“chimp runs on 4 D batteries”

Now, as if that isn’t bad enough, it piqued my interest enough to go to Sharper Image, and the product description there is WAY better (emphasis mine):

  • “Alive” Chimpanzee can see, hear and feel in ways that allow him to interact intelligently with you, your family, your guests…and with baffled strangers.
  • Soulful eyes track movements using infrared “radar” vision; his ears have stereoscopic sound sensors; his skin reacts to contact with touch sensors all around.
  • Four distinctive emotional moods include “Curious,” “Happy,” “Fearful” and “Feisty.”
  • When you leave your chimp, use the controller to put him in “Guard” mode — ready for anything to trip his sensors: When someone enters the room (for example), your “Alive” Chimpanzee will begin whatever series of actions and vocalizations you programmed. Sounds like fun, yes?

All I have to say is “AH-ahhhhhhh!! Eee-EEEEEE!”

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10 comments

1 skorloff { 11.28.05 at 8:21 am }

but does it vibrate?

2 Aaron { 11.28.05 at 11:36 am }

This monkey, it.. god damnit!

I find a small comfort in the fact that during these dark times, there are animatronic monkey heads available for sale.

3 particleman { 11.28.05 at 6:28 pm }

i would have also boldfaced the “Feisty” part.

4 V { 11.28.05 at 6:58 pm }

p-man – great minds think alike! i went back and forth on that. i was wondering if anyone else would be struck by the “feisty” – you are, and that’s enough for me. consider it boldedededed.

5 Shannon { 11.29.05 at 11:59 am }

I’m afraid it gets worse…

http://www.cellfoam.com/

6 JF { 11.30.05 at 5:51 pm }

Oh, you are so right Shannon.

http://www.cellfoam.com/local%20root/StyleGirls.gif>

im not sure I would have titled that Image ‘Style Girls’

7 Shannon { 11.30.05 at 9:32 pm }

Yes, that image in particular would make for some NSFW Photoshop fodder!

8 particleman { 11.30.05 at 9:57 pm }

“These are limited edition beta run Bananas.”

excuse me? are they saying it’s a beta banana?

9 V { 12.01.05 at 3:43 am }

now that’s a good band name.

10 particleman { 12.03.05 at 8:38 am }

aw snap. you’re right. maybe beta banana could tour with the beta band.

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