worst. movie. evah.

Nathan and I had a sort of wager going at work - I said Gwendoline (aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yaks) was the worst movie ever made, and he said Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was. Neither of us had ever seen the other one's movie.

Well, JR and I netflixed JCVH, and boy did I lose! No contest - JCVH is, hands down, the worst movie ever made. Don't even suggest other movies that you think are worse - you are not informed enough to make that claim until you have seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Think Slacker, but 100 times worse.

And this is coming from someone who recently watched Lake Placid 2. You can't even begin to know how badly I want those 70 minutes of my life back. If your budget is so low that you have to CGI in a seaplane, pay attention to where you put it. How can you CGI up landing a seaplane and unloading it at the dock, and then just forget to put it in the background five seconds later as your entire cast walks away from an empty dock? That movie is a travesty in the face of Lake Placid, one of my most beloved movies!



And still, both of us couldn't take any more after 12 minutes of JCVH.

In light of the double whammy of LP2 and JCVH, I look back fondly on Gwendoline in comparison. At least good ol' Gwenny had half naked women in fake bondage doing fake manual labor on spray-painted styrofoam sets.