wound a little tight
No surprise to anyone really, but I'm naturally just wound kind of tight. I've had trouble with anxiety for a long, long time, and for years now I've been taking medication for it. For the last couple of weeks though I've been having lots of trouble, despite the meds. I'm not having full-blown panic attacks, but hours-long episodes of a nearly constant tightness in my chest and this feeling of my heart jumping into my throat, my stomach flipping, and what feels like a racing heart rate occasionally skipping a beat. It's like being terrified every few minutes, if not more. I was thinking I was a little more stressed out than usual, and it would pass. But it just got worse.
Since that started happening, I've become hyper-aware of my heartbeat, which just makes things worse. It began to worry me so much on Monday that I got an appointment to get checked out the next morning. Despite everything I was feeling, my heart rate was healthy, my blood pressure is great, and my heart isn't skipping beats. They ran a blood test, and there's nothing wrong with my thyroid either. So I'm just having super long anxiety attacks.
I say "just," but in reality, it's hard to concentrate, it's scary, and it's been making it very hard to focus on work, which causes me even more anxiety. So my doc is trying out a higher dose of my anti-anxiety meds to see if that will get it under control. I really hope it works, because it's been hard to work, eat, sleep, focus. I'm physically exhausted from scrunching up my whole body from the tension. I went to bed at 10 last night, woke up at 1:44, and haven't been able to get back to sleep. :(
I'm trying to relax at work, but it's taking a conscious effort to walk more slowly, breathe deeply, relax my neck and shoulders. It's like I've become hard-wired to rush, every second. I actually suck at breathing! Who knew?
So... any tips on relaxing and slowing down? Good music to calm me down, meditation exercises, anything??? I really need some help with this.
Labels: health, rest and relaxation
posted at 5:50 AM
4 Comments:
Creating stuff with your hands. Pottery, or other crafty stuff. It restores you, I've noticed.
Plus, the world is richer with your works. I cherish the containers you made me!
Exercise done same time every day creates a positive feedback loop for me. I have to force myself, but if I do, feel better all day, sleep better, self-esteem rises, rinse, repeat.
Meditation/yoga can be good for me, but ironically when I'm in a really high stress space, I can't bear to engage with it.
Love you, Ash!
11:45 AM, February 05, 2009
I've heard good things about acupuncture - it helps releive pressure, etc. I swear I'm going to try it one day!
I hope things get worked out - anxiety is not a good feeling!
9:37 PM, February 05, 2009
I've struggled with much the same thing all my life, although I've never sought/received medication for it (I should have/should).
Exercise that is on a relatively fixed schedule has been a boon to my mood and overall energy levels. I find myself looking forward to my road biking days because I know I'll get out, get at least 1.5 hours of "me time" to zone or daydream or chat w/Justin & bro-in-law, and of course the endorphins and elevated metabolism that result long after the exercise is done.
I love music but can't blast it like I used to (kidlet's eardrums, afterall) but I make an exception when driving in traffic on days I can open the sunroom and windows. A good beat, or good ballad, always helps me. As does talking talking short walks outdoors with Sara (age two in mid-March). She forces me to slow down, stop my ol' "what am I late for NOW?" corporate stride to & fro, and reminds me that there is joy in running through a pile of leaves, puddle jumping, admiring a leaf up close.
And cut back on the caffeine. I still fall off the wagon and clamor back up on it repeatedly.
11:19 PM, February 06, 2009
alcohol. lots and lots of alcohol. you can't be anxious if you can't stand up.
i kid. i would suggest music - classical. nothing with words. words usually require focus, and you really just need the music for its calming effect. if not classical, go with electronic music with a consistent, steady beat. nothing too fast or hard, obviously (no oonx oonx music). the steady beat will establish a baseline for you, calm you, and not take your focus away from the task at hand. If you prefer music with vocals, try listening to music in a foreign language. Or someone who sings in unintelligible english (eg, thom yorke).
7:16 AM, March 07, 2009
Post a Comment
<< Home