stuff that bugs me (+ stuff that doesn't)

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“mental” notes

During bowling last night (oh yes, we roll on Thursday nights), someone said something so funny that I thought it would make a great t-shirt. I didn’t have a pen, so I made a mental note.

I have no idea what it was.

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stuff that doesn’t bug me

Stories that start with, “Did you hear about my tandem bike accident?”
The visual imagery on that statement alone is rich enough. But it only gets better from there: “So we’re on the tandem bike, and I’ve reached back my right hand so we’re holding hands, and I say ‘Look, no hands!’ and reach back to hold her other hand…” You can imagine where it goes from there.

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one of many, i’m sure: falling down

If there’s one thing I hate (and fortunately there isn’t just one!) it’s falling down. In public. And I do it a lot. Not fun, drunken falling down, but embarrassing, slipping-and-falling-on-your-ass falling down. This is one of my phobias, one of the worst things that can happen kind of things. So when it happens, I get this embarrassment paralysis – I can’t talk, I turn bright red, I think I’m going to cry (or I flat-out can’t keep from crying), I want to disappear from the face of the earth, and in my mind, people will talk about it derisively until the end of days. To me, my falls are like epic, earth-shattering events burned into the retinas of all who are witness to them.

“Was that before or after the Great V Fall of 2001?”
“The ‘Slip-Down-The-Stairs-And-Spill-Coke-On-Herself’ fall?”
“Before. But after the ‘Twisted-Her-Ankle-On-A-Half-Inch-Difference-In-Floor-Height’ fall.”

The funny thing is, I’m not as bad as I used to be.

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