ask ashley™, #2

Stepping outside the box, today's question is from an actual reader! (An almost-lawyer in Houston who would prefer to remain anonymous.) :D

Dear Ashley,

My neighborhood pub has $12 steak night every Monday during happy hour. I like steaks, and I like happy hour, but the two combined always render my Monday evenings completely useless. What can I do?

—Nap-Time Nelson

Dear Nap-Time,

Looks to me like you're screwed. How can anyone resist $12 steak AND happy hour?!? Accept that Monday nights are reserved for uselessness. As some Zen master said, "It is what it is."

Also... are Stella or Duvel included in happy hour? If so, you are truly lost my friend. And I might come visit you next Monday.

—Ashley

Ask Ashley™ is not to be confused with (or impinge upon the trademark rights of) Ask Abby™.

ask ashley™, #1

I've started a new series* in which I discover simple solutions or how-to's and come up with questions that ingeniously ask for help with the thing I've found the solution for. Who knows? Any of you might have the same exact problem.

Dear Ashley,

I like wearing tennies, but it just takes too darn long to tie the laces, and I hate Velcro. There has to be a better way!

—Tied in Knots

Dear Tied in Knots,

I've got just the solution for you! It's called the Ian Knot, and once you get it down, you'll amaze friends, wow strangers, and no longer waste valuable seconds tying regular old knots. The site with picture/text instructions can give you the basics, and then to see it in action (repeatedly, and paused, and in slow-mo), watch the Ian Knot Video on YouTube. After lots of practice, you'll be amazed at how simple it is, and how fast you can tie your shoes. The hardest part is in re-learning the very first knot — it goes in the opposite direction than all of us were taught. From there, the bow is easy.

This is how all children should be taught to tie their shoes from here on out. Screw that bunny and tunnel stuff. If you are a parent, teach the kiddies like this. Become part of the Ian Knot revolution.

—Ashley

* Not to be confused with (or impinge upon the trademark rights of) Ask Abby™.